People make fun of girls like me, and I’m OK with that. We’re the ones who are ready for sweater weather and cozy blankets, cool evenings and warm spice, bonfires, leaves and all the pumpkin things, and it’s not even September. What can I say, I love it all.
I am trying to make a conscious effort to stay present and enjoy the last month of summer, but this morning was cool, and it made be absolutely crave fall, so I picked up an apple-cinnamon scented candle on my Target run. I couldn’t wait to light it, but when I walked into the house, all I could smell was the sunscreen Stephen had put on before his baseball game. I wasn’t prepared to erase such a thoroughly summer scent. It brought this whole seasonal transition to the forefront for me, and you know what? That’s OK, because the beautiful thing about being between seasons is that you get to enjoy aspects of both. Yesterday I made homemade tomato sauce with tomatoes and herbs from Jessamyn’s garden. Today there’s a big pot of buffalo chicken chili simmering away on the stove making me happy dance because it reminds me of football season. I love both, and they can coexist.
I’ve been obsessed with the concept of seasons lately, not just the way it applies to the seasons of this earth, but the way it applies to our lives. I’ve never been one of those people who feels that the days are all the same. I’m easily distracted, and constantly curious, and when I’m not purposefully jumping from one phase to another, life on its own tends to throw enough curve balls to keep the seasons changing.
Last year around this time, I started realizing truly how little a sense of future I have, and that fact bothered me immensely. I’d been working through my past all year, trying to get rid of the mental clutter, the thoughts and beliefs that had become a little bit warped, and it was highly worthwhile, but I still couldn’t form any sort of picture of the future. I was telling a friend about this, and she gently reminded me, “you know, living in the present moment is something people work their entire lives for.”
I’ve always looked at “between seasons” the way people talk about life “between sizes,” where nothing fits quite right, and you’re not quite enjoying the benefits of either. The older I get, the more I see it as a chance to shamelessly enjoy the benefits of both.
My friend was right. When I stopped to think about it, I’d spent most of my life waiting for the next season. We notice this in kids and teens all the time, we tell them not to be so anxious to get to high school…college… their first apartment (bills!!)… I know for myself, though, I perpetuated that pattern well into adulthood.
When we bought our house two years ago, I did not handle the process well. I was so eager to get into our house, I was militant. Had I built a website at the time, it would not have been called Gracefully Unwound. It would have been called TightlyWoundBWord.com. I sacrificed what should have been an exciting season of planning and preparing because I was so obsessed with controlling the timeline.
Here’s my new perspective : You should look forward to the next season of your life. Pin ideas, dream, read the books and the articles – but enjoy now. Think about it: even though you have to wait, you’re not yet in the place where you have to do all the hard work. The hard work, of course, is what brings the next season into reality and so it’s completely worth it, and when the time is right you’ll do the work, but for now, it’s light and bright, and why not just enjoy that while you wait? Why stress the time away?